Monday, June 27, 2005

Indian stray dogs world's sexiest: Report

New Delhi (T2N2) Indian stray dogs are set to give desi men a complex. A study released today by an international dog-lovers club 'We Love Animals' has rated them the world's sexiest.

The lowly mongrel beat dogs from around the world, including pedigreed dogs from India, when it came to "prowess in bed," the report said.
"They may not be much to look at but female dogs around the world love them anyways,"
a spokesperson for the NGO said.

The study found that Indian stray dogs romped home on the sexiness quotient both in terms of endurance power and ability to satisfy their "spouses."

During the study, 1756 bitches of various breeds were given leeway to consummate relationships with a dog of their choice. An overwhelming majority of 1301 zeroed in on the Indian mongrel, which top-scored in categories like 'body-odour, 'curvature of tail', 'shapeliness of the femural bone' and 'licking ability'.

Despite its small size, the Brazilian Chihuahua was adjudged the runner-up, garnering the affections of 91 bitches while the German Shepherd was the chosen mutt for 81. Interestingly, the British Bulldog remained the hapless bachelor with even the bitch of the same species refusing to entertain his woofs.(T2N2)

Sunday, June 26, 2005

US bans sale of hair dye to India

Washington (T2N2) In a move widely seen as targetting illegal immigration, the United States today banned the sale of hair dye, especially the 'blonde' variety, to India.

"These Indians - they just colour their hair blonde - and disguise themselves as Americans to illegally migrate to the US,"
US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice told reporters here today.

Rice, however, admitted that the ban is not expected to drastically reduce the number of illegal migrations to the US, given that 'blonde' hair dye is easily available even in India.

"But we are installing machines at airports and ports here which would scan Indians who used hair dye not made in the US. If those people don't have valid passports and visas, we'll just deport them back to India,"
she said.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, a top US diplomat said that more measures are in the pipeline to discourage Indians from moving to the US.

"There's an Indian onslaught here. Indians are even winning Spelling Bee contests here and making our kids look like retards,"
he said. (T2N2)

Cat to be singing star on Broadway

New York (T2N2) Music critic Art Salinger today announced that his 6-year-old tabby cat by the name of 'Meow' is all set to debut on Broadway.

"A year ago, I was shocked to find this pussy in a roadside cafe meowing to the tune of 'We are the World',"
he told T2N2 in an exclusive interview.

Salinger promptly paid the cafe owner a thousand dollars for the cat, which apparently picked up its singing skills after listening to musicians playing in the plaza opposite the cafe.

"Make no mistake, this is going to beat 'Cats'. This cat is gonna make it big. Real big,"
he said.

Presently, Salinger is teaching Meow some new songs, including "some Britney Spears numbers". He says the wonder cat will make its debut sometime at the end of this year. (T2N2)