Wednesday, November 16, 2005

How hic hic Bush vexed Abbas

Washington (T2N2) Newly declassified documents have revealed that US President George W Bush may be indirectly responsible for the current deadlock in the Middle East peace talks. His crime - Hiccupping.

Two years ago, when Bush met Palestinian Prime Minister Mahmoud Abbas at the White House, Abbas had seemed ready to do anything to procure lasting peace between Israel and Palestine, says an excerpt from a CIA document.

"Unfortunately, just as Abbas was about to sign on the US-brokered roadmap, Bush hiccupped - loudly. A startled Abbas looked up even as the president hiccupped again...and again. When Bush started on his fourteenth hiccup, a visibly-irritated Abbas left the room."

Though under heavy pressure at home to make concrete progress with Bush on the roadmap, Abbas never returned to sign the document. Following a joint news conference where the matter was not discussed, the Palestinian prime minister left for the airport.

White House aides told T2N2 that Bush frequently falls prey to bouts of hiccupping. Many of these have unfortunately struck him during important meetings and who knows - may have inevitably changed the course of history as we know it.

And how does the President get cured? We got our answer, albeit on condition of anonymity, from one of his aides.

"We have tried everything. But he seems to react best to eating peanut butter. So, we have stocked up every possible room here with the president's favourite brand."

Still, that's a temporary solution. Who knows how many more world leaders will Dubya irritate with his untimely hiccups?

After all, Welshman John Francis Crosland has been hiccupping for more than 40 years.(T2N2)